03.4.14 // Ask GeekGirlCon: What fictional warrior would you want as your bodyguard?
Written by Adrienne Roehrich, Manager of Editoral Services
Why would you need a bodyguard? Well, a complex female character is not always a fighter and may need one. And sometimes they face baddies that have their own bodyguards. Some of my favorite fictional complex female characters are like that, Phedre of Kushiel’s Legacy, Allie Beckstrom who could take care of herself but also needed a guard, or Sarah Conner to name a few. Even real life awesome women doing excellent work need bodyguards, just look at the secret service and other bodyguard services list of . So I asked my fellow staffers if they could have any fictional warrior as a bodyguard, who would it be. Read on for some fantastic answers to this quirky question.
GeekGirlConnections Manager Terra Clarke Olson tells us what a person could want in a bodyguard: “I’ve never wanted a bodyguard, but if I knew that Kronk (Emperor’s New Groove) was available, I would hire him immediately! Not only does he cook like a pro (mmm, spinach puffs), but he speaks squirrel, creates impromptu theme music, and enjoys a good roller-coaster. What more could a person want from a bodyguard? Nothing. The answer is nothing.”
Accounting Manager Karen Hampton said, “I don’t feel I would need a warrior to be a bodyguard, if I could bring a non-violent weapon instead: The Point of View Gun from the film version of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. With it, I could de-escalate any situation and possibly open up a dialogue, or walk away amicably.”
Twitter Administrator and President of the Board Kristine Hassell calls upon a trio of bodyguards. “I would hire ‘Paper Sisters Detective Company’ from the R.O.D – Read or Dream anime/manga series. These independent women are total book nerds and also ‘papermasters,’ which means they can telekinetically manipulate any paper to do anything they want, such as creating weapons, shields, and transportation.
These sisters are not related by blood, but treat each other like family. Michelle is the eldest, chattiest, and the self-proclaimed leader of the group. Michelle’s paper mastery centers around projectiles like with her bow and arrow. Maggie is the quiet middle sister who prefers books to people. Maggie can creates the strongest shields, and she can create ‘familiars’ for protection and transport. Anita is the youngest and most skilled martial artist of the three. Anita loves frogs but unlike her sisters, she hates books. Anita’s skill is turning paper into thrown weaponry that can slice through steel and rocks.
The sisters are named after the principal actresses in Johnny To’s 1992 HK action film, The Heroic Trio.”
Copy Writer AJ Dent not only wanted a bodyguard, but a companion. “If I could have a bodyguard by my side, I’d definitely choose Tauriel, an elf specifically created for The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug in order to feature a strong female character. With her bow and two long daggers, she could take on enemies both near and far from me. I respect how she frequently worked to help others in the movie, even when it wasn’t asked of her, and her lightning speed is just awesome. Plus, whenever we have time to take a break from saving the world together, we could go explore the forest and climb trees just for fun. Can’t go wrong with a bodyguard like that!”
Street Team Manager Cole Lundell already went to bat for her choice of bodyguard. “This was a difficult question for me, but at the end of the day I picked Zoe Washburne – this actually started an argument between my girlfriend and I who picked River Tam. We spent the following 45 minutes having a conversation debating the merits of having a bodyguard who was incredibly loyal and an amazing warrior, but also crazy. I also figured, if I’m going to have a body guard, then I’m probably going to be spending a lot of time with them and Zoe could tell me old war stories, while River would likely just spout theoretical physics nonsense at me.”
As for me, it is a tough choice. When posed the question, I had someone in mind. But, upon further thought, so many characters came to mind! I finally decided on Loup Garron from Jacqueline Carey’s Santa Olivia and Saints Astray. With her genetically engineered heritage making her super fast and super strong, her fighting ability and special training makes her a perfect bodyguard. And since she and her lover Pilar Ecchevarria are inseparable, and Pilar is pretty handy with a gun, I’d have two guards.
Tell us, what fictional warrior would you like as a bodyguard?